The Southern Baptist Academy Blog

Edited by Mimi Rothschild, CEO, Learning By Grace, Inc. the leading provider of online Christian educational programs for PreK-12 Homeschoolers.

The question naturally arises as to whether the child can be permitted to give unbridled expression to all of his feelings. If there are limits as to how far a parent can go in his permissiveness? There certainly is. Just as the child cannot be given complete freedom to express his aggressiveness when it affects others adversely, so he cannot be granted the privilege of seeing exactly what he thinks when he hurts others by doing so.

Often when the child is expressing his negative feelings, asking him why he feels that he does can lead him to examine his attitudes in such a way that it enables him to develop some genuine insights necessary for learning to control his feelings and understand his emotions. Even when the child cannot be a chordate unrestrained liberty in expressing feelings are hurtful to others, we can let him know that we do understand how he feels and why he feels that he does, even though some ways of expressing these emotions are unacceptable.

From what we have been saying, it might sound stupid all the child’s emotions are unhappy and undesirable ones. Of course this is not. He has his joys, his excesses, his moment of the nation, which is just as eager to share with a listening parent. Love that listens at these times is just as necessary is that which listens when a child is frustrated. Whatever the child’s feelings, when they are suppressed because nobody cares enough to listen or because nobody is willing to take the time to listen, the way is being prepared for cutting off those valuable lines of communication between parent and child. Parents will find themselves yearning in later years to reestablish these channels of communication, and the repair work is sometimes hard to a fact, once the damage has been done. Blocking this flow of interchange between parent and child can damn up the sparkling springs of the child’s feelings, which can supply some of the richest joys in life through providing variety and flavor in living.

Children want to help and understanding of parents through sharing with them verbally: they want this kind of help even when they appeared not to want it. They want to talk things over, provided they can do the talking. Most children will discuss their problems with their parents if the parent has a listening ear, if he isn’t understanding friend, not an autocratic boss.