Mimi Rothschild
Before a child can develop these important qualities, he must have deep within himself the assurance of basic acceptance by those closest to him, usually his parents. The success of adolescent and adult with will be jeopardized if a sense of identity, of belonging, first of all to the family group, has not been firmly established in childhood. Children who are unwanted and rejected, what ever the parental defect or situation. Responsible for it, may suffer serious personality, distortion. Such children tend to be sick clues to, detached, apathetic, and unable to respond to the affection extended to them by others. They may be restless, fearful, and insecure. Sometimes they become aggressive and rebellious, as though they are out to snatch for themselves. The feeling of being wanted, of belonging, of being recognized, which is the basic to the building of a healthy personality.
Closely linked with the need for a sense of belonging is the child’s development of self-confidence and self-reliance. These are important pillars upon which growth toward maturity rests. Self-confidence is the awareness one has that he is in the world for a purpose which he alone can fulfill. That duty requires that he applied himself to the God-given task self-assurance. “I can” are two magic words which are the “open sesame” to life. At the same time, we must remember that, although it is important for a child to be in himself, it is also important for him not to be too easily convinced. We want our children to know that they are not the only people of importance in the world.
Frequently the amount of confidence a child has in itself is not determined so much by his real abilities as by his attitudes towards himself and his abilities. Faith in one’s self begins with the feeling, “I am all right”, “I am a person of worth”. “I do have assets.” “I do have strengths as well as weaknesses.” “I am a person worthy of respect.” Children first learned these attitudes from the parent’s attitudes towards them. The parental attitude is not always expressed in words that may be communicated to the child long before he can understand the meaning of words. A parent smile of approval, the tender way in which he handles the baby, but parents efforts to make the telecom triple, he’s responding to the child needs, his expressions of love for the child, the tone of voice in which he speaks to the child. These are all the ways in which the parent tells his child how he feels about him. These actions, as well as the parent spoken word, provide the primary source from which the child learns his attitudes towards himself.
In a process of growing up, inevitably the small child encounters many failures and mishaps. He spills his drink, he break the glass, he takes his mother’s cherished roses on her most prized Roche rose bush, thinking that he is doing her a favor. In the midst of such happenings, even the most well-meaning child may become discouraged and feel that everything he does is wrong. It’s such accidents as these are minimized, if they are treated as casually as possible by adults who understand that the child has not made these the state to the Britney or with malicious intent, the child will bounce back and will soon recover his self-respect. He will find that his 17-year-old put it, everybody spills his milk sometimes.
No factor is more important in successfully teaching the child’s self-confidence than the example set by parents who have flexibility in self-assurance, who know how to savor the sweet experience success, as well as how to bow to the bitter experience of defeat. Small child who has observed that his parents are not snobbishly dependent upon the favorable opinions of others. And that they know how to admit failure is receiving a first class method in the art of building self-confidence. Children naturally imitate parents ways of dealing with problems. The child who has legitimate reason to believe that his parents attacked their problems enthusiastically and with verve, even though they do not always succeed, has his own self-confidence reinforced. Albert Schweitzer. When asked how he could best pass on to their children the proper attitude toward self-confidence and responsibility, said there are three ways. One example to example and three example.
Some have raised concerns that the founding self-confidence can cause the child to become egotistical and prideful. Experience with children seems to show that this is not usually the case, unless there has been inculcated in the child a false concept of his abilities and of itself. On the other hand, it is the bully, the boastful braggart, was most likely to have feelings of inadequacy. His overbearing manner is simply his way of concealing his belt inapt myths and insecurity. Usually the competent child does not have to wage campaign to convince itself, and others, of his abilities. Of course, all children are given to bragging at times. The times when they’re most likely to post, however, come one errantly self-confident. Listen to your own children. If you hear them say such things as I don’t know whether I can do this or not, but I’m going to try hard: let’s think about it and maybe we can find a way to do it: let’s talk it over with daddy. Maybe he can give us an idea about how we might swing it, you know you are busy growing self-confidence.
em>Mimi Rothschild is the Founder and CEO of Learning By Grace, Inc., the nation’s largest provider of online K-12 Christian homeschooling programs and homeschool Christian curriculum. For more information about how online homeschooling is revolutionizing homeschooling, please go to www.LearningByGrace.org today.
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